My Near Death Experience


Caution – VERY GRAPHIC and not intended for everyone!

I want to talk about my Near Death Experience. I normally wouldn’t post something like this, because it is to personal and a very touchy subject, but I realized that I am not alone and this has happened to many others. So, I am deciding on opening up and bearing it all and tell my story about this.  I know there are many believers and non-believers on this topic, I know what happened to me and I really can not explain it, but it did happen.

How it began –

Early 2000’s,  I was fed up in life and wanted a quick and painless way out of life. I was not thinking straight and was only thinking about myself, and not others in my life. I stockpiled many pills called “AMBIEM” which are heavy duty sleeping pills. My doctor gave me a prescription for these so I could sleep at night.  Many have died while taking just one pill! Well, I stockpiled over a few hundred of them.  I did this, so it would be a quick and painless way out in life.  Well one day I figured that was my day. I honestly did not want to die. I just wanted things in my life to be different. I made several notes and a cd that had some songs on it, for my funeral.

Taking the pills –

I sat here thinking to myself if I was ready to die or not, then I decided if I was going to do it, I was going to do it now. I opened the pill bottle and poured around 80 AMBIEM pills into my hand and stared at them for a few minutes, thinking to myself that this was my way out in life and how simple and scary these pills could end someones life. They are really tiny pills but pack so much of a punch. I put the pills down on the table and walked downstairs and got a glass of milk to take the pills with. I poured the milk and walked back upstairs. I put the pills back into my hand and thought to myself, there is no turning back now. I either take them or I don’t. I put all of them into my mouth, and sat there for a few seconds thinking all I needed to do was pick the milk up and swallow. Well, I decided this was it, and took the milk and swallowed the pills. I knew there wasn’t any turning back now! All of them slid down my throat with ease. I sat there thinking to myself, what have I just done! I knew then, I really did not want to die. But it was to late, I took the pills. I laid down and said the “Lay me down to sleep prayer” and that was the last thing I remember before my Near Death Experience.

When I was found –

I was found by my wife, she found me laying in bed and very cold to the touch and barely breathing. She quickly called 911 and the cops and paramedics came. I was unresponsive and on the verge of death. Then I died!  The cops and paramedics worked feverishly on me for awhile, trying to revive me. I would be revived and die again, this happened several times on the way to the hospital.

My Near Death Experience –

The next thing I remember after taking the pills,I started to float out of my body, I was looking down at the cop performing CPR on me and saying on his radio, it’s now a “code” and for medical to hurry up. I began to float higher and higher. Then it all of a sudden became pure black!

The area, my vision,  was pure black, except the top to corners of my vision, which was white, bright white. The darkness was slowly disappearing and the white light was slowly appearing. It was very quiet as well.  It was weird, because the white light was so bright, but it did not hurt my eyes at all. As the black began to fade and the white light grew, I started to hear my name being chanted. “Rickie, Rickie, Rickie”  it was female voices. They were soft and soothing voices. Within a few seconds the voices grew louder and louder, but I did not see anyone. All I could see was pure bright white light, that was now full. Everywhere was bright white light and these ladies voices calling my name. I started to see arms stretched out, coming out of the light towards me. Then the ladies appeared out of the light. They looked very real, and were all dressed in white dresses. Everything they wore was white. But there was one thing I did notice, that was very strange! They were floating in the air, and I could not see their faces. I was not scared at all. They wanted me to grab a hold of their hands. They kept telling me it was OK and to come with them. I did not want to go with them. They had their arms stretched out wanting me to grab their hands. I kept telling myself, if I did go with them, it was the end. I sat there for awhile, and decided it was already to late and I went to reach for their hands, and when I did finally grab their hands, I woke up in the hospital!

I am only writing about this, because I want to get it off my chest and write about it. I honestly can not believe I am making it public, but I think it is best I tell the world about my experience. I have held it in for to long. I only told a few people about my experience. Now I am writing it to the world. I can not explain what happened to me, but I do know it happened. I can not explain who the ladies were, or the black and white lights, nor the floating above my body looking down at the cop doing CPR on me. I did not want it to happen, but it did. I am truly sorry for trying to kill myself. I have learned a very valuable lesson from this experience, live life like it is your last. I also hurt many people when I did this, my family and friends. I did not realize how this would affect others and I was so selfish. I am truly sorry for you having to go through this experience. I will never try anything like this again!  I love my family and friends with my heart and soul. I do not ever want to hurt them again!